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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26978794">City thoughts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/evil_ontheinside/pseuds/evil_ontheinside'>evil_ontheinside</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Homesickness, I'm going to tag it just to be sure, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, i don't know if thats child abuse but Suna's parents are shitty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:54:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,487</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26978794</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/evil_ontheinside/pseuds/evil_ontheinside</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hyogo is quite. That didn’t change in the six months Suna lived in the prefecture and it probably never will.</p>
<p>Day three of SunaOsaWeek - Prompts: Promise/Memory; Homesickness</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>SunaOsa, SunaOsa Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>City thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Like I said in the tags, I'm not sure if this qualifies as child abuse but Suna's parents are definetely not the best. I thought mentioning this is important in case someone feels uncomfortable with this topic.</p>
<p>Like the two times before: If you find any big mistakes, please let me know so I can correct and hopefully remember them for the next time. Hope you enjoy this :)</p>
<p>You can talk to me on <a href="http://twitter.com/EOntheinside?s=08">twitter</a> if you want</p>
<p><strong>Promise/Memory</strong>; <strike>Beach</strike>; <strong>Homesickness</strong></p>
<p>Background Characters: Inarizaki Volleyball Club members (short appearance)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hyogo is quite. That didn’t change in the six months Suna lived in the prefecture and it probably never will. What a shame.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He misses the busyness of the city he had cursed so often when he still lived there. Now he finds himself awake at night unable to fall asleep with the lack of sound around him. It’s pathetic really. How can someone not fall asleep when there is less sound than before? Isn’t it the other way around normally? And shouldn’t these six months- 183 days- 4.392 hours- 263.520 minutes- 15.811.200 seconds (yes, he is awake long enough to have calculated all of that; in his <em>head</em>) be enough to get used to it? Not for Suna Rintarou apparently.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He lies awake on his futon in the classroom and not even the loud snoring of Ginjima can lull him to sleep, even though it closely resembles the sound of a car engine. Is it sad that his search history on Youtube consists of ‘city sounds’, ‘night traffic’ and straight up ‘Tokyo sounds at night’? Well it’s not like he can use those videos now anyway or the last two nights for that matter. He was only able to survive these past months because of the consistent city sounds coming from his phone every night but he knew that training camps would be the death of him. He doesn’t know why their coaches thought it was necessary to take everyone’s phones over the cause of this week but who ever came up with that idea is on the top of Suna’s hit list. Though most people are, just in constantly changing positions. His parents for example are currently in their usual spot somewhere in the middle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The worst thing is not that he can’t sleep and is definitely going to die the next day at practice (he already knew he could survive one day without sleep and apparently even two, see exhibit A: he is still alive; but three? no chance) but that he has time to think. His mind tends to wander to the strangest places in daylight and the night seems to encourage it even more, as if she’s telling him that ‘it’s ok, no one will ever know what you are thinking right now, everyone is asleep’.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He has never been too fond of the city but it’s what he knows. The polluted air, the mass of people running around, the overfilled trains, the way you are invisible to most people, how you blend in with the crowd. Nothing really sounds appealing about that and most people here seem to think the same. Asking if he is glad to be out of the city, in a more peaceful environment and he mostly nods to get out of the conversation. But no, he is not glad to be here. He only wants to go home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Home. Their little apartment in the middle of Tokyo city, Shibuya. Three rooms, a kitchen and a bathroom. Nothing special, rather tiny and most people wouldn’t think of it in a positive way, his parents most certainly don’t. But for Suna that was his safe space for his entire fifteen years of life no matter what happened between those walls. Everything packed with memories. Every room, his way to school, the park as the only green spot nearby, the train station, the corridor in front of their apartment, even the neighbour’s living room where he had to babysit their children from time to time. No idea why they decided to leave six year-olds in the care of a twelve year-old with no siblings or prior experience in taking care of children. He even misses his classmates though he was never really close to them. Leaving most people at a safe distance is one of his specialties after all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He remembers the one day he met up with his junior high volleyball team outside of school. They still played volleyball but in the park. One mother even provided snacks for everyone and Suna actually had fun that day and not just because of volleyball.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Volleyball. The only consistency in his life outside of his parents. Though even volleyball isn’t the same anymore. The play style of his last two teams is completely different compared to Inarizaki. Other than playing by the book for the most part, the unconventional playstyle of Inarizaki is a stark contrast to what Suna is used to, though he’s not sure if that’s a bad thing. Instead of getting yelled at by tricking the other team’s blockers and spikers through manipulation and barely getting a toss anyway, he gets encouraged and complimented for his insight and game sense. He still gets yelled at for slacking off though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ginjima’s snoring stops as he turns around in his sleep and it’s suddenly quiet. Sure there’s the breathing of his teammates but it’s so soft that he can barely hear it after Ginjima’s engine impression. It’s way too quite. Suna presses his hands on both sides of his head and takes comfort in the sound of his blood rushing through his ears. But he can’t stay like this for the rest of the night. So he doesn’t.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He imagined that leaving the room would be way more difficult than it actually is. He tries to move as little as possible to not wake Kita-san from his light sleep he assumes the second year has, steps over Ojiro-san’s body just as he rolls over to the other side, nearly throwing him to the ground like a bowling pin. Akagi-san seems to cling to anything in grabbing range and nearly manages to catch Suna’s ankle when he randomly throws his arm in his direction. That instinct is as unsettling as it’s fascinating. He simply steps around the twin’s futons who sleep right next to each other to the surprise of most of the team. Especially because they had been fighting the whole day. Weirdos.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sliding the door closed behind him, Suna lets out a deep breath, finally able to get rid of his worries of an angry Kita-san screaming at him for disrupting his sleep. It’s an absurd thought, Suna can’t even imagine it. He makes his way through the dark corridors and moves past the classroom the third years had removed themselves to, ‘enjoying their last year in company of their closest friends’. Suna is sure they just don’t want to be stuck with looking after their underclassmen. The second years feel like the older and more responsible one’s anyway. He doesn’t hear anything from inside, so they are probably asleep already. Not knowing the time due to the lack of his <em>phone</em> he can’t tell if it surprises him or not.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When he steps outside the building the air is way colder than he imagined. It reminds him of the time he went outside when it snowed in his first year of elementary school. His parents thought he had died out in the snow and when he came back lectured him immediately even though they didn’t come outside to look for him. He had been out with a cold for a whole week. He doesn’t regret it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He looks at the bench only a few steps away but decides to lie down on the floor, arms stretched out to both sides. A cool breeze slips under his loose t-shirt, making him shiver but he doesn’t move to tuck it in his pants. Maybe if he gets sick he doesn’t have to participate in practice tomorrow. He could go to their house, start the ’11 HOURS OF CITY SOUND for Sleep, Concentration and Relaxation’ video and finally get some sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Stars. Shining above his head in the black sky. Stars are not that common in Tokyo. Well, they are there obviously but not really visible between the brightness of advertisements or lights shining from inside the countless buildings. You have a decent view in the park, though the streetlights limit the experience by actually doing their job, unlike most of the ones around his new living space. He did find a spot between a few bushes two years ago when his parents weren’t home and he felt like running around outside in the middle of the night. No light reached that little cave between the leaves and branches, only leaving an opening over his head. The view was still obscured by the very same leaves building the star-view-spot in the first place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a second Suna imagines hearing footsteps but when he looks around he is still alone. That reminds him of the one time someone broke into their apartment. He was asleep during the actual break-in but heard the person walking around in their living room. He thought it was one of his parents returning from work and went back to sleep. The next day their TV was missing as well as their coffee machine. Nothing else was worth the thief’s time apparently or he got scared of being discovered. Suna hadn’t slept well for a whole month after that. His mother had hugged him close the next day, his father said he could have done something to prevent it. They both had left him alone in the apartment the following night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He makes up hearing a sound again, this time a door. The time he had hidden in his room from the fire burning in the kitchen comes to mind. He still doesn’t know how that fire started but when he noticed it he ran into his room, locking the door as if a <em>wooden</em> door would protect him from fire. His father had come home only two minutes later, extinguishing the fire that destroyed most of their cupboards but didn’t spread through the apartment fast enough to roast a seven-year-old child. His father yelled at him for being stupid and not thinking of calling the fire department. Suna likes to think that that was him trying to show his concern about his son nearly dying in a fire.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Suna?” Another sound his ears imagine to hear. Reminds him of his first volleyball practice at Inarizaki. Coach Kurosu had looked at the list of new applicants, squinted for a second and called out his name. Suna just raised his hand, the coach wasn’t the first person to be confused by his existence. He explained for the thirty-sixth time that week that he had moved here from Tokyo with his parents. Each teacher one time, three times to the old lady living next door in the span of their five-minute conversation, his classmates and the workers at the Konbini that still don’t think he should be running around alone at midnight. He tried to explain that he has experience but they didn’t look convinced by his argument.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yer awake?” Suna feels something touching his shoulder and drags his focus back to reality, now actually noticing the other boy looking down at him. He is thrown back to the first time he got a volleyball in his face, opening his eyes to someone looking down at him like this but the memory doesn’t stay long when he is nudged into the shoulder again. By the guy’s foot. “Would you mind to stop kicking me?” His voice, even though nearly a whisper, echoes loud through the night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nah. What are ya doin’ out here? Ain’t ya tired?” The twin, Suna’s brain is helpful enough to supply, doesn’t seem bothered that he found the new kid lying on the floor (if he still counts as the new kid) as he sits down next to him. “I <em>am</em> tired.” Suna underlines his statement with evidence in form of a yawn as he tucks his arms closer, further away from the other boy. He looks at the sky again and thinks for a moment that one of the stars is blinking before realising it’s just a plane. Back in Tokyo most stars have been planes after closer inspection.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Doesn’t answer my first question.” He gets kicked again though it’s light enough to just be considered a touch. “Couldn’t sleep. Went outside.” He didn’t talk much with either of the twins. He knew enough twins, two to be precise now four, to know that they have a weird connection and twin-thing going on that Suna would like to distance himself from. Seeing the Miya twins either overly enthusiastic and energetic playing volleyball or fighting each other with words or fists alike made him want to stay away from them even more. That worked quite well until now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Weird. Thought ya would be out like a light. Ya looked ready ta die after practice.” Another near death experience graces his mind, this time in the park. In hindsight climbing into the tallest tree wasn’t Suna’s brightest idea. Especially as it was marked to be logged because its insides had been rotting away over the last years without anyone noticing. One of the thick branches broke off with Suna on it and nearly impaled his stomach but he just broke his arm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yer not gonna answer ta that?” He got kicked again, this time with more force actually qualifying to be a kick. “Last time I checked you didn’t ask a question.” He hears the twin huff and is sure to be in Osamu’s company. His voice is less loud and he isn’t whining yet. “So I have to ask questions for ya ta talk ta me?” Suna shrugs as best as he can in his position.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Another memory forms in his mind. Suna lying outside looking up in the sky. Though it wasn’t at night, there was grass under him and the breeze was warmer. It had been summer after all and he just woke up from his usual nap under one of the trees in the park. He had been alone that time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are ya thinkin’ ‘bout?” Another kick. He’s going to have a bruise after this. “Home,” he provides with as little information as possible. Well he could have said thoughts. Maybe next time then. “Are ya homesick or somethin’? ‘s that why ya can’t sleep? But it’s only been three days.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Six months.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suna can feels Miya’s eyes on him but he keeps his gaze locked on the night sky. “Yer missin’ Tokyo, huh?” He doesn’t answer but his silence must be answer enough. The twin sighs and then lies down next to Suna, shoulders touching. Suna reminds himself that physical contact is normal here, doesn’t make it less weird. He tries to wriggle away awkwardly but Miya just presses against him again after he makes a little space, so he stops trying. He can’t remember ever lying around with someone like this. Maybe that’s why it feels weird.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Stop bein’ so quiet. If yer thinkin’ of somethin’ jus’ say it. I won’t tell anyone ‘bout it, not even ‘Tsumu. Promise.” Suna frowns at that. “Why would I tell you out of all people what I am thinking about? Not to sound rude but we aren’t close in any way, we barely talk on a normal day.” Miya hums in thought for a moment before shrugging like the middle blocker had only minutes ago. “’s not like there’s anyone else here for ya ta talk to. Yer never sayin’ what yer thinkin’, keepin’ quite like that can’t be good, right?” Suna suddenly becomes aware of the warmth radiating from Miya’s body on his left side. Is this guy even cold? Are there people that never get cold? He remembers the penguins in the zoo they had visited in his first school year.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Talk.” This time he gets an elbow into his side. Is there no other way for him to get attention? Does he always have to turn to violence or touching or <em>kicking</em> to get what he wants? “I said talk.” Another jab in Suna’s side. At this point the bruise joke won’t stay a joke. “Stop that already!” Suna rubs his side sending a glare to the left without actually moving his head. “Not if yer not startin’ ta talk.” Another jab. “Fine! I’m talking!” He still rubs his side but can see the twin grin at him. Suna is sure their noses would brush if he turned his head. Another reason to not do that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was thinking about a field trip we did in my first year of elementary school. One kid nearly lost a finger to a penguin.” Miya makes a confused sound, still looking at him. “How?” Are there many ways a penguin can eat someone’s finger? “He poked his hand through the bars and the penguin thought it was food.” He can feel a soft vibration on his left side and realises that Miya is chuckling. Strange that he laughs at this story. Suna remembers that day as really tiring. Adults were screaming, the kid was whaling loudly and he just wanted to go see the foxes. But maybe hearing that a child nearly lost his finger to a penguin is funny in some way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We also went to a museum in junior high. One kid managed to destroy the dinosaur exhibit.” He feels the vibration increase next to him and decides to continue. “He took one of the dinosaur eggs from the display, a plastic replica or something and tripped. It flew through the whole room and hit the dinosaur skeleton. Some screws must have been loose so it fell and nearly squashed some tourists.” Miya is full on laughing next to him now, trying to stifle it to not be too loud. Suna can feel a smile on his face. “They called our parents to pick us up early after that and I spent three more hours wandering through the exhibit until my mom came. I think I saw the whole exhibition, well except for the dinosaurs of course.” He is still smiling and so caught up in his memory that he doesn’t notice that Miya stopped laughing and is now looking at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why did ya have ta wait so long?” Suna’s smile vanishes immediately and he quickly glances at the twin, though his expression is unreadable. “Everyone under thirteen had to be picked up by a parent or guardian or whatever. My parents knew that of course but they didn’t really expect anything to happen. She couldn’t leave work so they let me run around in the museum with my homeroom teacher until she came.” Miya stays quiet after that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, it wasn’t the first time anyway. I once had to wait for them at the train station for two hours because they couldn’t get off work to pick me up. I thought they just forgot that I would come back from my grandparents that day but they assured me that they didn’t. Kind of wish they had just forgotten about it.” He feels Miya press further into his side and notices that he wouldn’t mind talking more about it, though he doesn’t. First, he doesn’t know Miya good enough to talk about this and second, he really doesn’t want to bother him with his family problems. He already did enough of that now. He also doesn’t mind the pressure on his left side, it’s actually calming in some way. Strange.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What do ya miss ‘bout Tokyo anyway? Ain’t it really crowded and stuff?” Suna shrugs again. “Not sure. I guess it’s just familiar. I can’t sleep without cars driving on the street or people talking outside my window. I feel weird every time someone remembers who I am at the store. It’s just so different from before.” Something grabs his hand. Well of course it’s Miya who does, there is no one else here and ghosts don’t exist as far as he knows. He never met one before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe ya should give yerself more time. Sure, six months sounds like a lot but in comparison ta fifteen years? And who knows maybe ya can call this yer home someday. Maybe not in ‘nother six months but in a year. Or two. Ya never know.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suna turns his head to Osamu for the first time since the boy showed up. Osamu is facing him as well, their noses nearly brushing. He sees those grey-brown eyes looking into his with pure honesty and maybe a bit of certainty as if Osamu would make it his personal goal to make Hyogo a home to Suna, like a promise. And maybe Suna wants to agree. Wants to let Osamu show him how much of a home Hyogo can be if he just lets it. Maybe he can let Osamu guide him to find an actual home, because what kind of home is built of memories of disappointment and near-death-experiences?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Suna reciprocates the grip the other has on his hand and feels them tighten with a gentle squeeze. His throat feels tight and his voice wavers when he talks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah. Maybe.”</p>
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